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本帖最后由 yping88 于 16-6-2013 20:39 编辑
I reorganized some of my thoughts as walking Harvey, now I'd like to share with you about my experiences on how chinese cliches (中式老生常谈) work in Australian system.
When I was a carer in aged care, a conversation happened between a senior resident and me, and it still keeps hitting my mind every so often.
This beautiful lady was 95 years old that year, and her conditions just went down the hill by the day (一天不如一天). It came to our notice that she gradually presented with the early stage of dementia. As a result, her previous wonderful personality was heading towards the opposite direction when she was frustrated by her loss of independence. She took on the destructive mode while seeking assistance in her ADLs (Activities of daily living) that usually posed no challenges on her previously (这些生活琐事以前对她来说根本不算什么).
One day, she lashed out on me again for no reason at all while I helped her out of bed. I ended up pointing out to her (向她指出): Betty, I KNOW how frustrated you are and how hopeless you feel...
She cut it out straight away while I wasn't done talking: How do KNOW what I have been through? You haven't been there (你还没有变成我这样) even for a tick (一秒钟).
Back then, I didn't know any different than my Chinese cliches, so the conversation was just left in a dead end (进入死胡同).
It wasn't until I met a nursing specialist that I started questioning the chinese clichés, which I held dear (视为珍宝) all through my Chinese nursing career, would take me anywhere (不会有多大的帮助) in my Australia one.
This nurse took herself to an extra education in psychology, which made her a communication expert and fantastic detector in the unspoken feelings (隐蔽起来的情感).
She made the message perfectly clear to me: It's impossible for you to understand how other people feel about their situation, because you are around it not in it 你只是旁观者而非亲历者. Never jump to conclusion (别妄下结论) or inject your own opinions into (将自己的想法注入) other's story, because that will shut down the communication channel (交流渠道) and make you a failure in providing effective care. If we are keen to help out patients, we need to simply state what we actually sight in them. For instance, you can make it specific: I see you are bothered/disturbed by something, I can't quite put my finger on what it was (具体指出来它是什么), but I am willing to be here for you (我愿意静心倾听) whenever you want to talk about it.
I come to terms with the fact (很不情愿地接受了这个事实) nowadays that our cliches wouldn't do any good in this culture but only undermine (轻视) others’ feelings when it comes to communication. Nobody enjoys being judged or lectured on (被评判,被教训) when he is so desperate to share his frustrating reality, and nobody should judge anybody else either unless they have been through the exact same path.
I am so glad that I have been working hard to avoid chinese cliches while taking on an attentive-listening (静心倾听) approach, but I'm not yet anywhere near what I intended to. It will be a long process to grow into different working culture, because it’s painful to off-load (卸下包袱) something I was so used to, to give up something that made me face less challenge, made me a lazy thinker. I grew up in a culture that imposed less stress on my belief system if I stick to the stereotype (模式化的观点).
I have to admit that open-ended communication 开放式的交流模式always pulls me out of my comfort zone (把我带出令我感觉得心应手的区域), and heaps of efforts need to be put into it to take myself into what we call professional level. But I am motivated to take the best shot at it. I can now appreciate the fact that I am delivering the patients a holistic care on an individualized base by listening to their stories.
Hopefully, by the end of the day (最终), I can take the pride to announce that I have stood out in the nursing crowd (在护理领域出类拔萃) as an expert, who deserves patients’ comments: They feel that their care has been done for them not to them.
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楼主: MICHELLE07
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发表于 12-6-2013 22:55:05
发表于 13-6-2013 22:03:26
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。。。
